Daylight Lost

What do you
think about,
in those empty moments,
with no one but yourself?
do you count the ceiling tiles?
do you hum a song?
do you plan world domination?

Pain walks into my mind
taking its sweet time, taunting me with
possibility.
just how the sun sets over hours
and then, all of a sudden
Darkness.

Days are made up
of things,
a good ol’ pie.
Mental to-do lists.
Impatience.
Random intrusive memory.
Countdown to something.
The future.
The past.

Thoughts stack in my mind
fitting together like- well, not at all.

whether the sun is high, or the clouds are low
there is one thing that can stomp out
anything.
It comes and it takes
what it wants.

Every step I take
is planned to
best conserve energy,
to be the least painful.

I have less daylight
because of the time
taken by pain.

Hours wasted,
good times
forgotten,
replaced.

What do you
think about?
In those empty moments,
with no one but yourself?