"grandmothers"

me: grandmothers are the best of us

friend: I hate missing her
friend: but I love loving her

me: we are better having been loved by them 

- my friend and I

sometime in November 2020

who said cheaters never win

cheaters never win
but what does that matter if winning 
isn't the point of the game?

(there is no tally at the end)

cheaters never win
unless winning means hurting the most people

unless winning means causing the most damage

before you're playing an entirely new game

(they've toppled empires this way)

cheaters never win
but they can still reap the rewards
and for some, that is more than enough

you can't beat cheaters by playing by the rules

but if you become like them, what have you won?

cheaters never win

but everyone else can still lose

Icarus was a star that almost touched another star

flying too close to the sun

he was a dreamer, as am I

he dreamt too loudly, shown too bright

but he lived

he had a dream and molded wax until

it came true

before he died, he lived

as he dreamed, so do I

destined to be Icarus

perhaps I am destined to be Icarus
perhaps I am destined to crash and burn
but, oh, what a gift his
last moments in the sky
must have been

I don't mean to sound cliché

we get (too) close
knots of attachment
tighten (like a noose)
expectations (and big questions)
pile up (fragile like Icarus)

we pull away 

and end up flat on our asses

"in every book"

In every book I pick up,
I'm reading
"let us not conclude"

- my grandmother

10/22/2020

happy halloween

it's dreadful, really

to learn that the real monsters

were inside us all along

all that ever comes to mind

Note: This is the 250th poem I have published.

I have four little cousins, small children with

big questions, they've asked me

"why are people always so mean?" 

and all that ever comes to mind

are things I don't want them to know

I want to tell them to stay like they are

just that like, don't get older, 

keep asking questions and never give up

at 8, they have yet to

watch a political debate or

read about people arguing 

over their right to live free

in a nation that champions freedom

they haven't

gotten sick of screaming

into the thankless void of emptiness at 

the end of each and every day

I want to tell them that it gets better

that the world is less scary from up here

but 10 years ahead of them and I still don't know 

the right answer or the right prayer

meanness becomes cruelty

there are never any guarantees

anyone can cut the rope

and let loose the guillotine

I want to tell them to have hope

that life is more good than bad

I want them to believe that

cheaters never win and winners never cheat

that superheroes look just like you and me

but who am I to lie to them?

it's not their fault that when they ask me

"why are people always so mean?"

all that ever comes to mind 

are things I don't want them to know

we are pirates

thick as thieves

we are pirates 

sailing the seven seas

searching far and wide for 

new dreams

Heartstrings

because our heartstrings have been tied together 

since the first time we wore friendship bracelets

until our wishes came true,

since you sat next to me

and I sat next to you

soon we were reading books as thick as the lake

we skated on every Saturday

if our whole lives were filmed

those are the hours I'd ask to replay

because our heartstrings have been tied together 

since the Christmas you discovered boys

and I still saw things that made too much noise,

since that day we went flying like two rolled dice

remember that? we "both" slipped on the ice

my house was next to yours

and your house was next to mine

we'd sing our lungs out, you and I,

it was our own battle cry

because our heartstrings have been tied together

since our monsters had no faces

before we met the girls with two,

since monsters lived underneath our beds

and couldn't climb inside our heads

we may bend

but we never break

we may stretch

but we always snap back into place

because our heartstrings have been tied together

since our first real fight, the one I still think about sometimes,

since we both made a wish, that chilly September,

to be in each other's hearts forever