destined to be Icarus

perhaps I am destined to be Icarus
perhaps I am destined to crash and burn
but, oh, what a gift his
last moments in the sky
must have been

I don't mean to sound cliché

we get (too) close
knots of attachment
tighten (like a noose)
expectations (and big questions)
pile up (fragile like Icarus)

we pull away 

and end up flat on our asses

"in every book"

In every book I pick up,
I'm reading
"let us not conclude"

- my grandmother

10/22/2020

happy halloween

it's dreadful, really

to learn that the real monsters

were inside us all along

all that ever comes to mind

Note: This is the 250th poem I have published.

I have four little cousins, small children with

big questions, they've asked me

"why are people always so mean?" 

and all that ever comes to mind

are things I don't want them to know

I want to tell them to stay like they are

just that like, don't get older, 

keep asking questions and never give up

at 8, they have yet to

watch a political debate or

read about people arguing 

over their right to live free

in a nation that champions freedom

they haven't

gotten sick of screaming

into the thankless void of emptiness at 

the end of each and every day

I want to tell them that it gets better

that the world is less scary from up here

but 10 years ahead of them and I still don't know 

the right answer or the right prayer

meanness becomes cruelty

there are never any guarantees

anyone can cut the rope

and let loose the guillotine

I want to tell them to have hope

that life is more good than bad

I want them to believe that

cheaters never win and winners never cheat

that superheroes look just like you and me

but who am I to lie to them?

it's not their fault that when they ask me

"why are people always so mean?"

all that ever comes to mind 

are things I don't want them to know

we are pirates

thick as thieves

we are pirates 

sailing the seven seas

searching far and wide for 

new dreams

Heartstrings

because our heartstrings have been tied together 

since the first time we wore friendship bracelets

until our wishes came true,

since you sat next to me

and I sat next to you

soon we were reading books as thick as the lake

we skated on every Saturday

if our whole lives were filmed

those are the hours I'd ask to replay

because our heartstrings have been tied together 

since the Christmas you discovered boys

and I still saw things that made too much noise,

since that day we went flying like two rolled dice

remember that? we "both" slipped on the ice

my house was next to yours

and your house was next to mine

we'd sing our lungs out, you and I,

it was our own battle cry

because our heartstrings have been tied together

since our monsters had no faces

before we met the girls with two,

since monsters lived underneath our beds

and couldn't climb inside our heads

we may bend

but we never break

we may stretch

but we always snap back into place

because our heartstrings have been tied together

since our first real fight, the one I still think about sometimes,

since we both made a wish, that chilly September,

to be in each other's hearts forever

she’s so pretty / it hurts

(she’s so pretty / it hurts)

she has a string between her lips
a hook in my heart
she tugs and it's the kind of pain that hurts so good

I wouldn’t mind if she pushed the hook in deeper
I wouldn’t mind if she stepped in closer
I don't mind that she holds my heart in her hands

(because she’s so pretty / it hurts)

I try to count the brush strokes I'd need

to paint the magic she leaves behind every careful, carefree step

to paint the wisdom in her words

to paint the unspeakable things her smile has endured

I’d paint a mural on the side of my house

and above the lips that leave magic on mine

I’d paint that

"she’s so pretty / it hurts"

when we say Black Lives Matter

when we say Black Lives Matter

we are saying three words

that carry the weight of hundreds of years 

of pain and oppression

of strength and perseverance

between them

when we say Black Lives Matter

we are recognizing a dark history

too often covered up

and forcing it into the light

a history we can choose to stop repeating

but only if we fight for a better future

when we say Black Lives Matter

we are saying that black people

deserve respect, safety, and love

that they are needed, beautiful, and valued

that they are worth protecting

and admitting that we haven't always protected them

"Red"

Red is a powerful color.
I like wearing it,
especially on Monday.

- my grandmother

9/20/2020