bravery means vulnerability

it is not defined by boldness
nor by refusing to listen
(that isn't bravery)

they called me brave
(but left out the
parts of my story
that made it true)
they said that i was brave
"because i survived"

but i didn't get to decide
how my surgeries went or
how my body
healed itself

i got to decide how to
stitch myself up
in another way
from the inside out, into
standing position.
i got to try to put my pieces
back together
ones that didn't fit anymore
however i chose to
(in the end,
i figured out that i had
to create new ones)

courage is found in the most
vulnerable parts of a person's soul

for me, that means
telling my story
and admitting to any
shame over my past

it means
revealing that all
of those ugly things i
was told (the words pressed
against me until i
couldn't breathe)
still haunt me

these brave things
(the vulnerability) hurts

so much of me is
tangled up identity,
but i am learning that i
can redefine myself
(as many times as i choose)

being honest
with who i am
who i was
and who i want to be-
that is vulnerability
and that is bravery.

Inspired, in part, by Brené Brown and her Netflix special, "The Call to Courage" (2019).