everything all at once

when my eyes meet nothing but
endless water, I see everything
all at once

I am reminded of my mother’s family
because we go to the water
and my grandmother takes me to
the little library with little slips of paper to check out books
and we eat around a long table on the screened in porch
and my baby cousins swim in the lake like it’s
the only place in the world you could possibly want to be

I feel everything
all at once

I think of my dad for no reason other than
that he’s my dad,
and he used to throw me in the air
when we played in the water together

I think of my father’s family
because there’s a different type of rainforest down there,
now I’ve seen two

I imagine I’m six again
it’s something about the humidity and overwhelming view
I’m six again and the world is still new
I’m six again and I don’t know the pain yet
I’m six again and I love that there’s so much I don’t know

as I stand here, I think of everything
all at once