You never know what you have
until you lose it.
And I am not sure I ever understood that
before.
Depression can ride on your heels
until you believe,
believe with all that you have,
that you have nothing.
But, are you forgetting your speech?
Try not having it.
You have your focus.
The ability to hone in on
your work.
Walking feels
silly to note,
but be grateful
for every step you
can take without thinking.
I did not lose my ability
forever, but every day
is still a battle against the possibility.
Realize you walk with ease,
no panicked moments if you forget something in the next room.
Realize you walk with every part of your foot.
It's funny. These words don't come
from a place of deep thought;
they are just ankles.
But, I didn't know we had a midfoot.
I didn't know they would become so vital.
So painful.
Lose your freedom,
you'll hate yourself
for not seeing it sooner.
Notice the things you have.
Not for guilt.
To note.
To respect. Feel grateful.
I will be here,
dreaming of standing on
that mountain ridge,
one day.